Posted by: L | September 10, 2007

Self reflection, scars, and knitting

These last six weeks have been wonderful. I’ve been able to explore many avenues for growth and restart my yoga practice – which I’ve neglected shamefully for the past two years. However the reality is that as a single income person I can not yet make a living at my textiles dreams. Sigh.

I’ve also been grappling with my physical limitations. As I continue to push the boundaries of what I can do in all things textiles (well life actually) the brutal truth is that since my surgery from skin cancer 2 and 1/2 years ago I have not been as prolific in my knitting, sewing and needlework as I used to be. I am finally coming to terms with this. It could have been worse. I did not have to go through chemo. I am cancer free – for now. I was (am) lucky.

Scars

Cancer Scar

I’ve been fighting it. Hoping that it would go back to the way it was. It won’t. 

The upside – you know I always have one – is that I am writing more and loving it. I’ve also been experimenting with other styles of knitting. I am currently teaching myself to knit in the continental (picking) method. I’m amazed at how much the right hand moves at the wrist in this method. It still seems less than the throwing method though. With time I’m teaching my right wrist to not be as ‘movable’. It’s not as elegant. It is less painful. Objective achieved!

Picking

If anyone knows of any other techniques – please let me know or send me the links. I’m on a journey of self discovery in this area. Give up knitting, spinning, sewing and needlework? Who am I kidding. Never. I have to much stash. Not to mention that while I LOVE fashion, I hate to shop. Seriously, I really do hate to shop. Go figure.

So where is all this taking you the reader and me the writer? For you the reader, hopefully a positive note on the trials, tribulations and successes of another knitters journey of self discovery. Over the last year I have learned that the community of knitters and textile artists in Portland can be one of the hardest to break into, yet you are one of the most encouraging and supportive. Thank you for reading this blog and your constant encouragement. It is appreciated. For me? Growth through honesty and reflection of self; that by beginning to address and understand my physical limitation that I can adapt, explore and add new ideas to make my dreams come true. It has taken me 13-years in the PR business to achieve many of my dreams. I still have a few left. If it takes me that long to accomplish my textiles dreams then I’m good with that. While I fervently hope that I can achieve them in less, the fact that I’m good with that time frame means I’m in the right place at the right time in my life.

PS: While I’m ruminating, I’ll put out to the world that if any of the book proposals come to fruition that I will pursue them. In a heart beat. Nothing put out to the universe, nothing gained.

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